Breaking Away Together

Written by Ms. Berman

Dedicated to the students and families of the Senior class of 2012

“My mother says I am the devil child,” an IS Senior recently said to me.  “Ask her to call me and I will tell her stories about some truly bad kids,” I responded in a semi-sarcastic tone.  This flippant comment from my discouraged student, however, continued to resonate with me long after he had left the room.  I find myself wondering why we, as a society, are so set upon recognizing birthdays,  graduations, communions, weddings and so forth, and yet we do little to recognize and prepare both young adults and their families for the one of the biggest life transitions of all: breaking away.  This processes spans over an entire year, as the student begins applying to, planning for, and ultimately going off to college.

Perhaps we underestimate the emotional drain that the application process places on the student, and all of the close family members involved.  When my own children were going through this process, my husband philosophized that it’s an evolutionary necessity for children to get combative enough that we actually want them to move out.  Otherwise, he contended, how would we ever let our little darlings go?  Thus, as a child’s yearning for greater independence and control escalate, so do the family arguments based around the child’s ever changing wants and needs.  This signals that the process of breaking away has begun.

I hear the complaints from both the student and parental points of view.  Parents will contact me behind their child’s back (which I always tell them may backfire and encourage honesty when seeking my input), saying that their child has suddenly turned secretive and defiant.  The student doesn’t want to listen to the parent’s advice regarding college choices, nor topics for his/her personal statement.  A student’s typical rebuttal: “That’s what AVID is for.“   As the parent pushes harder to stay involved in the decision-making process, the student often resists even more. 

The student from the same family may come to me, complaining that all of a sudden new restrictions are being placed upon him/her, such as an earlier curfew or fewer opportunities to use the family car.  “It’s often about control,” I try to explain.  “As you withdraw from your parents, you create suspicion, and it is a normal response for them to try to keep better tabs on you.  Share your life with them,” I suggest.  “Be the one to initiate doing the things that you used to love doing together.  When is the last time that you actually went out and had fun without talking about IB exams, college applications, or career choices?”  Most students can’t remember.

No one is at fault for this dilemma.  Trying to evaluate the situation from the other person’s point of view and realizing that this is difficult for all the parties involved can sometimes lead to a little more patience.  Knowing that most families go through some type of adjustment during this period of time, and merely acknowledging that this is one of life’s most stressful transitions, can help the family members be less reactive to each comment and gesture as they arise.  It does not have to be a tumultuous time for both the student and the parents.  Focusing upon strategies that will create more successful ways to “break-away together” can make all the difference.

The Art of Advocacy

Written by Ms. Berman

Dedicated to the class of 2014

For the past two days, the low scores on the latest Honors Chemistry quiz have been concerning me.  It is the same quiz that I give every year at this point in the semester, my students are top notch, and yet the failure rate was unexpectedly high.  These are the moments I envy the teacher who can accept the situation as status quo, walk to her car at 2:30 pm, and leave the work day behind her.  I cannot. 

Today I prepped my Science Scholars for their after school tutorial, making sure that the focus would be upon achievement.  My students need to know that they still have multiple opportunities to recoup their grades.  I can’t imagine what it feels like to live in this competitive pre-college environment, and I will go to great lengths to promote success in my class.  Where I stop, however, is that I don’t “gift” grades; students must rise to my standards and earn them.

One problem with our educational system, where it stands at the moment, is that open communication is discouraged.  Recently my students were disappointed because I didn’t go over the homework assignments during class (due to time constraints) and yet no one asked if I could make an answer key available.  I have a Science Scholars website to assist them in any way that will enhance their understanding.  Scanning the answer keys and posting them online is an easy solution to this dilemma.  And yet, not one of my students asked me if it could be done.  Lectures are posted online.  I told them old quizzes could be posted online.  Why would I withhold homework answer keys if it would increase student success?

This leads to another key element that is lacking in most classrooms, apparently in mine, and that is the element of student-teacher trust.  When a student is in elementary school, he/she knows that the teacher can be counted upon for comfort and support.  Somehow that thread of trust is squashed in the high school years, and teachers and students are viewed on opposite teams.  This is damaging in a class such as Honors Chemistry, when the process of accessing the information is unique for each person, and communication is critical.  Obviously, if a group of students put any teacher on the defensive, they will be shut down, and their needs will not be met.  Advocacy, however, is an imperative component of education. A student should have the ability to politely state his/her needs to a teacher who is striving to enhance student success.  Unfortunately this is not usually the case. 

Too many students in this era are withdrawn and in fear of repercussions.  They are not in the habit of their ideas having validity.  Allowing for student input in the teaching process does not undermine the authority of the instructor, but empowers the students to take part in their own learning.  When students identify ways in which they will be more successful in a class, they are developing  life skills that will carry them through college.  Taking the next step, and learning the art of advocacy, is one of the most important lessons a person can learn in high school.  Therefore, students, I now challenge you to think about how you best learn, seek the help you need, politely share your ideas, and work with me to achieve a memorable and successful year in Honors Chemistry.  For, regardless of what you may think, I will not accept this as status quo.  Although it sounds great in theory, I will not leave my work behind at 2:30 pm, until I am certain that you all have mastered the content of this course.

MVPs

Inspired by my Marine Biology students, MVP Arts
Dedicated to all of my students facing academic challenges; you're all MVPs!!

Okay, MVP’s, we are starting on a journey.  I listened to each of your concerns and will address them throughout the school year.  Now we need to focus on a new topic.  Learning.  Once you walk into my classroom, learning is the main thing.  That does not mean you will be sitting in your seats for 90 minutes listening to me speak nor reading from a textbook.  You will be a part of the teaching and learning process, each and every day.  We will not be focusing upon grades because, in my class, I insist that your scores will be good.  You will work, you will learn.  We will learn together. 

Marine Science is a course of discovery.  Like the hidden gems of the sea that take effort to uncover, so does a person’s talents in the field of science.  In order to fully comprehend the remarkable secrets of the ocean and its surrounding environment, basic concepts in Biology and Chemistry must be attained.  Therefore, we have our work cut out for us, already six weeks into the semester, and some catching up to do.  Consider it a challenge.  I am like your coach, the one who will push you beyond the limits you knew you could achieve.  However, this is important work.  For it is only the educated who will bring positive changes to our society, and save the beautiful things we all enjoy, such as the seacoast, coral reefs, and exotic fish.

Just as with a coach, you will not always like what I have to say, but you will respect it.  Just as with sports, sometimes you will grow weary and want to stop, but you will keep trying.   And sometimes things may not seem fair, but you will trust that I am making the best possible judgment in each situation.  This is our classroom code of conduct. 

Learning, true learning, is not easy.  It requires questioning, reasoning, problem solving, and compromise.  But in the end, succeeding in a rigorous science class will be one of the most satisfying experiences of your high school career.  More important, however, once you have mastered all that I have taught you in this course, you will have rightfully earned your title of MVP, which, in this case, does not stand for most valuable player, but for most valuable person.  And that is precisely what each of you are.

ISAmbassadors: Initiators of Change

An IS parent approached me at Open House and remarked that this is the worst he has ever seen the state of public education.  As I was about to readily agree, I looked over at my students gathered by the IS tree.  Many were just hanging out with their friends, but a few were waiting for me to collect their proceeds from the Pancake Breakfast ticket sales.  "No," I responded, to the surprise of both of us.  "This is the best that it has ever been.  "In the case of my students," I elaborated, "large class sizes, limited supplies, and the economic strife in their personal lives has led them to take action.  This has all manifested in a program called IS Ambassadors."

I have been reflecting upon this conversation for a week now, and decided to share it with my students at our club meeting today.  "Look at the number of people in this room!" I exclaimed.  "And the wait list is growing daily.  Everyone wants to be a part of this experience.  Our current budget stands at $5,643.17.  That will afford our students the opportunity to do things they never thought possible, such as going on a college tour.  This is all due to your hard work; you made it happen."  The students broke out into applause. 

The School of International Studies is a microcosm of society at large.  When a group of people become dissatisfied and/or frustrated about something that really matters to them, they can become discouraged and apathetic or they can be the initiators of change.  One reason ISA has evolved at a logarithmic pace is because students are yearning for outlets for dealing with the multiple forms of deprivation and inequities they witness on a daily basis.  Although most students are not looking at the big picture right now, I can see it.  Gen Y-Not? will be better off for having experienced these tumultuous times and attempting to drive these social changes within our club, our school, and our community.  These students will not be complacent in their future careers and endeavors.  They will know how to advocate for themselves.  They will know how to define their goals, mobilize quickly and work as a team to achieve arduous tasks.  They will be comfortable with spontaneity, adversity, and diversity. 

As I am writing this, I glance at the bookcase in my office and notice a binder entitled "Life Skills Training: High School Teacher's Manual."  I can't envision a program in the country that empowers students to identity their needs and collectively meet them in a more positive manner than this student-designed program called ISA.  Therefore, I view this time as the height of my career as an educator, witnessing major shifts in public education which are catalyzing  students to take ownership over their present and future.  Indeed, in many ways, things have never been better.

The Roles We Play

Written by Ms. Berman

Rules.  They are a valuable component of any society.  They help us define our roles, keep us safe, and set boundaries.  Roles can be useful when one is in need of a purpose.  But what happens when the roles defined for us don't coincide with the person whom we really are?  Should we "fake" the role in which people expect us to play, to make them feel more comfortable with us, or should we be ourselves (within reason) and allow people to learn that it is okay to be atypical?

This is a question in which I grapple with every year at this time in the semester.  Teachers are told to "never smile before Thanksgiving."  Allowing students to see our more personable side will diminish their respect for us, and potentially erode our class control.  This theory of classroom management has been engrained in me for over twenty years of teaching.  The reality, however, is that my greatest success stories, my "little miracles" as one student has coined them, have never arisen through intimidation, but through encouragement via the teacher-student connection.  Creating an environment in which students feel comfortable taking risks, asking questions, and seeking help is not in alignment with the role of the foreboding teacher.  It is not only unnatural, but it is dishonest, as it is not me, and the students will soon come to realize this.

Open House was difficult tonight, as I could see parental apprehension when I stated that I don't believe in loading on the homework.  The look of concern was clear, as parents want assurance that their children will receive a top notch education.  I am sensitive to their concerns, but teaching my students how to create balance in their lives is a priority for me.  I am continually striving to create meaningful work, and focusing upon quality over quantity.  As long as I see my students thrive in the learning process, I will continue to limit the amount of homework that I assign.  Yet again, I am not playing the role in which I am expected to play, and I know that it makes some people uncomfortable.  If I weren't a teacher with whom students share some of their innermost feelings, I may have a different approach or teaching style.

This school year I have decided to start off the semester playing the role of myself.  My students will see that I have a sense of humor and that I believe in the importance of having fun.  I don't think that I am better than they are, and won't pretend that I am.  I love my career, and the students are the driving force of my enthusiasm.  My classes are based upon mutual respect.  My Science Scholars are the anchor of my success as an educator, and I give them credit for all that they do.  I sometimes make mistakes, and it is okay if my students do, too.  This year I will break the teacher covenant and will be smiling long before Thanksgiving.

The Privileged Mind

Inspired by Nidia Davenport
Dedicated to all IS and MVP Arts Students 

It is mid-August… the time in which most dedicated teachers begin to reflect and dream.  I have been an educator since 1987, have had minimal problems with classroom management since my first day of teaching, and yet I occasionally have the typical anxiety dreams… students out of control in my classroom.  It always strikes me as odd when I awaken, because discipline is not an area in which I ever plan for or concern myself with.  And yet, being that Honors Chemistry and IB Biology tend to be courses that many students fear taking, I know subconsciously that unknown challenges await me… challenges primarily focused upon building student confidence that anyone can indeed tackle the rigor of my science classes, regardless of their previous educational and/or social experiences.

Today as I was driving home from a Big Bear retreat, I reflected upon a question that had been posed to me by a bright young lady of the same age as my upcoming students:  “I have thought about being a teacher,” she had said, “but I wouldn’t want to have to teach me.  How do you handle the kids with an attitude?” 

“I don’t have students with an attitude,” I initially responded.  “I shut them down before they get to that point.”  But then I took a moment to think back to last year, to the brief altercations that could have escalated between specific students and me.  “Well, you know, H,” I told her, “you don’t get an attitude unless something is really bothering you.  The trick, as a teacher, is to get to the root of the problem.  It’s all about showing the student a little respect.”

I then told her about R, and how she had started to talk back to me last fall.  I explained how I carefully guided her into my hallway without drawing the students’ attention to the situation, and then cut to the chase.  It quickly became apparent to me that R didn’t feel respected nor intelligent in my Honors Chemistry class, and wasn’t sure how she was going to grasp the overwhelming amount of material being presented in the course.  Previous experiences freshman year (and probably prior to that year) had tainted her feelings about education, and more important, about herself.  I scheduled a lunchtime tutorial with R for the following day, in which she made huge strides during a short period of time.  Reassurance.  So little effort made such a huge impact, and from that day forward R worked toward becoming a stellar Chemistry student.  It was easy for R academically because she had a privileged mind and comprehending the difficult material came more naturally than she had expected.  Comprehending her feelings about herself, the course, and me were not so simple to attain. 

So when I am asked if students “give me an attitude,” I would have to say no.  I work at being proactive and recognizing that self-expression exists for a reason.  It is not necessarily a bad thing.  It is rarely personal and, even if it is, my job is to disseminate information, which sometimes requires cutting through some barriers.  And thus my anxiety dreams may also be a reflection of the students who have their own feelings to deal with at this time of the school year.  My future students are now facing the fact that the easy-going days of summer are about to come to a close.  Homework will be starting up again, as will projects and exams.  Some students may be feeling uneasy or a bit out of control as they don’t know exactly what to expect from each of their future teachers.

The reality, however, is that all of my students come to me with privileged minds, they just have to learn how to best work with them.  With clearcut expectations and the amazingly dedicated Science Scholars at IS, all students have the ability to succeed in my classes.  Thus, the true challenge is not in the teaching, nor in the disciplining of unruly students, it is in convincing the struggling students that they are worthy of learning.  And that daunting task as an educator is justification for anxiety dreams, even for the most seasoned of teachers.  For it is the most driven of teachers who know just what is up ahead and how important it will be to access all of the privileged minds that will be brought before him/her.

What's the Point?

Written by Ms. Berman
Dedicated to my brother, Michael, for keeping the memories alive

“Ms. Berman, sometimes I wonder, what’s the point of life?  I am not depressed or anything; I'm really just trying to figure it all out.  Right now it seems as if all we do is work hard in high school so we can get into an amazing college.  But then we will have to work hard in college in order to get into grad school, and then after that, we will be working our butts off to earn a living (or so we are told).” 

Knowing that I owe this student a satisfactory explanation, and he is a right-brained thinker, I decided to frame my response as an analogy:  If we were to compare a person’s life to a two hour movie, I started to explain, the singular moments could be thought of as the snapshots within that movie.  Although the bigger events within the life of a teenager, planning for college, career, and possibly later, a family, are all important, they are the infrastructure which affords a person the opportunities to have the best case scenario of snapshots throughout his/her developmental young adult and later years.

How do we know when we have experienced a meaningful/successful/positive snapshot?  Let me begin by addressing deprivation and disappointment.  We, as humans, go to great lengths to avoid both of these situations for ourselves and for our loved ones.  If you think about it, however, when has food tasted better than ever?  Often when eaten after too many hours of going without.  When does success feel the most rewarding?  Often after repeated failures were experienced prior to achieving such success. The point being that it is only the contrast of the positive and negative experiences in our lives that allow us to recognize the beauty of the good.  Rather than feeling shame for our negatives, it would be better to view them as a baseline of comparison by which we learn to appreciate all that is exemplary around us.

In reference to the snapshots of life, I am talking about the short-lived moments, or even a period of days, in which our actions, or those of another person’s, have a subtle, but profound impact on our personal happiness and well-being.  These snapshots occur every day and are unique to each of us, as our personalities guide us in our human gestures.  As a young child my Grandma told me: “You don’t know the number of people whom you will affect on this earth.  Be kind to everyone, for the person who is the least kind to you, is probably in the most pain.”  And thus the recognition of snaphots began in my life, following the wisdom and faith of this half blind woman who could still “see” twice as much as the rest of us.  It is typically best if societal snapshots, in which we are primarily giving to others, are balanced with personal snapshots, in which we are in the giving/receiving mode.  For me, my societal gestures vary but are usually based upon listening to a stranger telling me their “life story.”  My family and closest friends tease me that I have a “tell me everything” sticker on my forehead, and perhaps I do.  None-the-less, I tend to bring out the more personal side in people, as the thing that they crave most is to be listened to and validated.  

                My most significant personal snapshots, however, revolve around my family and close friends.  I have seen too many friendships and families torn apart by internal squabbles over money, control, jealousy, etc. and I avoid letting those issues destroy my relationships.  So whether it be participating in the July 4^th Fun Run with my 24 year-old daughter, discussing philosophy with my son, taking the dog for a walk with my husband of almost 30 years, planning a trip to a winery to celebrate my younger daughter’s 21^st, or enjoying a day at the beach with my girlfriends, I cherish the moments that I spend with the most precious people in my life.  These personal snapshots cannot be bought for any amount of money, nor are they dependent upon what college I graduated from.  These are the snippets of life that matter the most to me, as they bring me the deepest kind of joy and satisfaction. 

                It is important to note that no matter where you are within the context of your movie, know that you are making a difference along the way, even when you don’t think that you are.  So continue planning the script for your movie, but be sure to savor those shapshots.  These sacred moments are what give most of us our sustenance.  Remember life is about the sharing of ourselves with everyone with whom we come in contact, in order to bring a collective support system to our society at large.   And that, my student, is the point!