Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Emotional Intelligence

Post from a Junior:
My mom and I were talking about how difficult sophomore year was and how I was initially struggling in chemistry which was really discouraging for me.  My best friend was grasping the concepts while many were over my head. I remembered the conversation that you had with me about how it's not always about IQ but EQ. I remember at that point was when I realized that it was not about how well my test scores were, or how quickly I was grasping the concepts, but how I handled the situation and how I would work towards accomplishing the concepts. That conversation was extremely inspirational to me and I think that it would be a good topic to mention in your blog :)

Response from Ms. Berman:

The leading researchers on Emotional Intelligence, Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer, have defined it as “the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions” (1990).  IQ (Intellectual Quota) is the often used to calibrate "success" in the academic realm, but what about EQ (Emotional Quota)?  It is important to recognize that even though intellectual ability is significant, there are other attributes, such as strength of character, that are better predictors as to whether or not a person will be successful in school, the work place, and in life.
Questions to respond to (anonymous posts can be submitted via email):
1.  What is your definition of success? 
2.  Who are your role models?  What is it about them that causes you to feel this way?


  1. Success to me is a mixture of serenity and accomplishment.Serenity because one is able to live with less stress of working on,doing, or finishing a certain goal. Also it can be serene for not only the clear mind/conscience but the body.Success is also accomplishment because having an ideal image and finally drawing it out it a huge ordeal of success.
    My heros/role models are plenty. I admire those in situations which are either optamistic, strivers, or strong. The reason for not having anyone in particular is because there is so many different things that no one will ever know about a "hero", so what if they do something amazing? who hasn't.(: Dont get me wrong i may have a few but i just appreciate the few who unwillingly know they are looked up to.

  2. Anonymous Post

    In the demanding world that is high school, and my life, it is easy to be trapped by a narrow definition of success. Get straight A’s in honors and IB classes, raise my SAT scores into the 2200’s, get into an exclusive college. Be perfect. Do it all with a smile and make it look easy. But, when one takes a step back and tries to define what success really is, it has a broader definition.

    True success cannot be defined by a grade, a test score, a college, career, or income. True success comes when one has found something that gives one joy, and allows one to contribute something meaningful to the world. A successful person is one who has positive relationships with those around them, and people in their life who they would do anything for, and who would do anything for them. Successful people are able to love others, but also themselves; and can identify who they are and what matters to them. Successful people are aware of what they want in the world, and have the motivation and determination to get it, but are able to evolve, and adapt to change. Success should be measured by the life one lives, the relationships one creates, and the influence one leaves on the world.

  3. Success:
    Something that can not be measured or obtained until found within oneself.

    My role models consist of people that are important to me in my life. Loved ones, mentors, etc...
    These individuals are considered to me as role models because they have helped show me the ropes of life, helped mold me as the individual I have become today, and helped open my eyes to seeing a different light of day in all aspects throughout my life time.

  4. Some people may say that success is having the finer things in life but really that's not true or even accurate. My definition for success is accomplishing a goal and finishing it. For example, you can be succesful in every category of life, such as playing a sport or again having a mind set goal and striving for it and accomplishing it.
    Now role models are everywhere, they can be good or bad but really you would want to have a great role model. My role model is my grandmother. She is not scared of anything, she loves to try something new in her life and she only lives for the moment. This is what makes me look up to her, I'm a very shy person so really I try hard to be like her. The great energy she has just makes me want to be like her, these are the causes that makes me feel this way.

  5. 1. What is your definition of success?

    My definition has changed over the years. As a teenager, success was completing a test or a course with a good grade. When I was married, success was to have a good relationship and get a good job. After the divorce, success because being able to do things on my own; to prove to myself that I didn’t need anyone else. I got good jobs, worked really hard to move up that corporate ladder, and then crashed when I was laid off. Now success comes in the form of family and friends. People who I surround myself with help define that success. I’ve learned that you can work really hard at a job, but that most bosses won’t recognize all that you do. You have to recognize for yourself that you did a great job and were successful. This is still hard for me, but it is getting easier. So success is that I feel good about what I did and what I accomplished.

    2. Who are your role models? What is it about them that causes you to feel this way?

    My role models have included teachers, bosses, my parents, and my friends who have come through very difficult situations with dignity and grace.

    Teachers who not only gave their time to teach, but also to listen. They never got support or accolades. All they got were students who appreciated them more than words could say. They gave themselves to us to make us better people.

    I’ve also had bosses who taught me how to push myself and to help make the workplace better. Bosses who stood by me when I was accused of doing things that I didn’t do. Bosses who could see potential in people in job interviews. Bosses who could manage a team of different people and personalities.

    My parents always made sure we took family vacations together. They took us to new places and taught us how to explore the world around us. We didn’t need TVs in the car for long car rides. We could use our imaginations as we saw the world wiz past us. They taught us how to appreciate nature and the beauty around us, even in the city.

    And of course friends who have come through very difficult situations and still were able to see the positive things in life. Some came through, and others didn’t. But they taught be about the journey and how to live each day to the fullest and to forget the small stuff.

  6. 1. What is your definition of success?
    2. Who are your role models? What is it about them that causes you to feel this way?

    1. For me, success is the end goal of years of schooling. Each homework assignment and test I take adds up to the overall total. It's a bit difficult to deal with because there is always the pressure of not being good enough and failing to achieve the goal of getting accepting into a 'good college'. I understand that even if my GPA isn't the perfect score that colleges want to see, there are different options, and as long as I can see a goal, and continually reach for it, eventually I should achieve it. Tests are usually hard for me, because I'm a very nervous person, and often blank out. But like how there is always a backup plan; I'm able to compete with the low tests scores by investing in projects. Projects are easier to me, because I'm able to revise and make sure everything is how I want it to be, which gives me a sense of security.

    2. My role model isn't a specific person, but are people in general. I'm inspired by individuals who set a goal for their life, and achieved the goal. I understand that in life goals are changed because of the overwhelming obstacles, that's why, when someone achieves their original goal, and overcomes the challenges that stand in their way, I respect them.

  7. My definition of success is the product of satisfactorily meeting one's goal. This goal could be anything, so success can be big or small. People often use the word "successful" to have the same meaning as "wealthy." I disagree with this because can't someone be successful, or have accomplished what they have set out to, without being rewarded monetarily for their efforts?

    I don't have a specific role model, but I would look up to anyone who has lived up to their potential (or at least attempted to) and has tried to make a difference in the world. These things can both take great courage which is what makes them so admirable.

  8. Success is when i am comfortable with what i have achieved and what i currently have, not with what i wish i had achieved/gotten. if i miss a goal i wanted to get, but have found something better in the process, then that is all the more rewarding.

    I cant put a name to any role model, mainly because i have never understood the need to look up to someone and try to emulate what they have done/do. while i do appreciate the things people have accomplished in the past, i don't necessarily put them as a role model because, to put it simply, trying to follow in other peoples footsteps is a bit...well, stupid. i don't need to look up to another person or try to be like them to get where i want; i can do that on my own.